They asked me if I had goofy stories during my time in the military. Of course. The very first mistake I made is joining the military. After my graduation, I was assigned to a Light Infantry Battalion as a second lieutenant. I was happy thinking I was going to be a Yangonian. But I was wrong. The headquarter is in Yangon but all the frontlines are in Karen State. We had to go frontline for one year and rest one year back then. But during the rest year, we either have to report to security duty or attend Improvement Training. The rest was only on paper. Also, most of the time, the time at the front exceeds one year.
Six of us from the same batch arrived at the battalion together. All of us were goofy fellows. I still remember the first time we arrived at the battalion. Dusk was already falling. The whole base is dark as the electricity was off. I checked the surrounding while taking off our belongings. I noticed the soldier helping us with the baggage. He had a prosthetic leg. I also noticed a soldier with a fake leg at the front gate. I felt uneasy thinking, “What a great start. Everyone I saw is not in a good shape. How will it turn out for us?” The quartermaster came to us and said, “Are you guys ok? The base is empty as everyone went to the frontline. Most of us have to do multiple tasks as we have few people. I hope you guys can stay like this for a while. After everything, report to the office.”
After unloading our stuff from the truck in the dark, I inquired the soldier with the prosthetic leg about where I can buy a cigarette to satisfy our craving. “Sir, where can I buy a cigarette around here?” “Ha, of course, Bogyi. I can buy it for you. But it might take a while since it is a bit far and I can’t walk fast,” he replied. I felt sorry for him. “You can just show me the directions. I will go by myself,” I said. “It’s ok Bogyi. You won’t know the location even if I tell you. Just give me the money,” he replied. I gave him extra as his pocket money since I felt sorry for him. I waited over one hour in the dark. I thought, “Aww, he went to a distant place even with his limping leg.” When he came back, not only he had cigarettes, but he was not like before anymore. He was wobbling. I knew he was drunk. Anyway, we thanked him for going.
The next morning, I went outside where the food stalls were for breakfast before we muster. It only took like ten minutes to as I asked around and find my way. At the front of the gate, I saw a shop where not only you can eat but get various things. Only then I realized we were bamboozled by that soldier. I wanted to laugh. Doing our line-up, I saw him in the line as if nothing happened. After that, I went up to him and said jokingly, “I was feeling sorry for you. But you tricked me. Just wait. I will settle our scores next time.” Just like that, I was conned since arriving at the battalion.
After three days, I went to the front line with the salary payment group. Since we were second lieutenants, we were assigned to the commander’s column and the second commanders’ columns.
Our battalion commander was a nasty fellow. He was quite big. His fists are almost the size of my face. It would be the worst to get punched by him. He also swears a lot if we made mistakes. We called him “Japan Gyi” behind his back. Since we just graduated, we were afraid of him. We didn’t dare face him. If we didn’t get punched, we would get cussed.
One day, he called and ordered us, “You guys have to register the artillery targets. Go to the artillery sites. Bring your maps and compass. I want to know how capable you guys are. I will come and inspect.” We said yes quickly as we were desperate to get out of there.
We didn’t know much since we had freshly graduated. Anyway, the three of us went to the site with our maps and compass. We looked at each other’s faces since we didn’t know where to start. We messed around here and there. There were also shells. We talked to each other like we know what we were doing. We were fooling around since the commander was not around.
One of my friends tried to put the shell into the artillery and accidentally set it off. The shell exploded as it hit the tree nearby since we screwed up the targeting. We were stunned initially.
We were connected tho. We yelled in unison as the shell hit the tree. “We are under fire.” The whole base panicked and started taking positions for battle. They started shooting at random things and some are shouting. The whole base was a mess. Just then, the commander came out and said “Stop. All of you.” Everyone stopped whatever they were doing and looked at the commander with blank faces. We had to hold our laughter.
Then he pointed at us and said, “You three. Come to me, now!” We climbed out of the artillery site and went to him with long faces. He said, “No armed force shoot a single shell alone. We don’t hear follow-up gunshots too. It was you three, isn’t it?” We couldn’t lie. “Yes, Aba,” as we couldn’t hide the truth anymore.
He didn’t hit us as he was in a good mood. Probably also because no one was hurt. If something happened tho, we could be in jail. We were punished tho.
We had to carry water up and down the hill to fill the base’s water storage. We had to do it to fill every water source in the base. We were tired and our shoulders and thighs hurt like hell.
The next accident was during an operation. Most of the soldiers tried to find food along the path. Our leaders also told us to do so. There were rumours that those who can’t find food weren’t fed. So, the soldiers had to look out for both enemies and food. They put some food into their pockets and some into the baskets they carry. They gather whatever they found whether chilis or roselle. They asked for permission from the owners but some steal as they were afraid of not having to eat.
Once, the one who was assigned to carry the mortar got chills, carrots and other leaves. He put some of them in his pockets and some in his mortar. Then, at some point, a battle broke out with the other side. So, everyone was shooting back at the enemies. But he was having trouble since he had put food in his mortar. He couldn’t put mortar shells into it. He was busy moving between covers trying to clear his mortar. We broke out in laughter when the commander said to him, “Hey, I told you to shoot the mortar. But your mortar was shooting out carrots and roselle instead of mortar shells.”
Like that, I have experienced many different kinds of blunders at different times and places. It is comical to talk about them now but back then, it was tiresome.
Yours respectfully,
Htet Myat